he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
