just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
