Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
