Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
