if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
