I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You ruined the universe
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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