he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
