Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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