Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
