May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
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I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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