I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I feel great
I just peed on a car
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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