I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
