all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
