Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
