Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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