The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize