And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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