just tell him i said nine months
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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