When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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