It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
