You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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