You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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