Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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