your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
