Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
