i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
