Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
