Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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