I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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