When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize