Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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