Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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