Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We are all done wearing pants today
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize