By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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