nut hugger
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
