Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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