should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
