And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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