Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
