wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
