cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
