I must be too annoying 4 u.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize