3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize