he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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