your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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