well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I came so hard my ears popped.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
