found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
