We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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