4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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