Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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