The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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