wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
