We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize