Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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