you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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