We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
my poor anus
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
