Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
