Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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